When I took an "Adult Gap Year" in 2019, leaving my 25 year career and spending time exploring what my next steps would be, many people referred to it as my "time off".

I bristled at this because it made it seem like this time was somehow less important than what came before or after. That it was frivolous. 

It wasn't. It was one of the most impactful times of my life and I learned more and tried more new things than I had in a very long time. 

I am fortunate. I have been frugal and saved for many years and had a spouse who had health insurance so I had the financial security to take a year off from a paying job with benefits. But this is not a requirement to follow my lead. It can be done with some discipline and accountability and even over the course of your annual vacation. The key is to spend focused time - either small amounts over a longer duration or a block of time in a short one.

I knew myself well enough to know that I would not be able to truly focus on developing a strategy for my future while I still had commitments to an employer, to clients, and to team members. I needed the time and space to firstly rest, and then to design and execute a plan that would expose me to new things and people and give me some tools to make informed and bold decisions about my future. 

So I set off on this quest with the overall theme of Exploration. And I gave myself time to learn, observe, and talk to people who were doing things totally different from what I had been doing for the last 25 years. I intentionally got outside my comfortable bubble and network and went where it took me. I had no destination in mind. I focused on the journey and experiences and welcomed new and interesting possibilities.

But I couldn't escape my nature, which is one of a planner and strategist. So I created a set of strategic goals and objectives to guide my journey. I set some performance measures for certain things to keep me focused and designed a quarterly self-assessment to check in and adjust my plans. When I look back at what I accomplished, these are some of the things I am most proud of:

I became a dilettante in the most positive sense of the word. I was a tourist in my own town, enjoying the sites and learning about art, history, science, and culture. I took classes in and read about things I had considered myself bad at (and still do): drawing, gardening, wine tasting to name a few.

I got to know my neighbors and spent time with my family, traveled, climbed nearby mountains, rode horses on the beach, got involved in causes I cared about, and filled as many days as I could with different and sometimes mundane experiences. 

I put myself out there by cold calling interesting people whom I read about in a magazine article, asking to join groups where I had to convince them and myself why my involvement would be relevant and beneficial, sharing more of myself and my personal stories with strangers.

I had doubts and guilt. What if I really wasn't capable of doing anything else? Should I be making more decisions now? Was I wasting time while putting more pressure on my husband and my dwindling savings? Would I be able to get a job after? As a friend said to me after hearing about my struggles, "There's a lot to unpack there".

I worked through these and more. I found new communities and started building towards a new purpose and identity. I became comfortable in my world outside of corporate and learned not to beat myself up for slowing down the pace. I now try to give freely of my time to support those who need it while recognizing my value and pricing my billable time accordingly. I ask for help when I need it but continue to build reliance in my own capabilities, knowing that no matter which direction I go, while I may not know exactly where I am going, I trust in myself to know how to get there.